Vayeira: The Courage to Feel Joy Again

Sometimes, after pain or disappointment, joy feels dangerous — like if we let ourselves hope, we’ll only get hurt again.

This week in Parshat Vayeira, three angels visit Avraham, who is almost a hundred years old, and Sarah, who is nearly ninety, and the angels tell them that after all these years, they’ll finally have a child.

Sarah is listening from the tent, and the Torah says:

And Sarah laughed within herself, saying, "After I've withered, will I have joy - וַתִּצְחַק שָׂרָה בְּקִרְבָּהּ" (Bereishit 18:12)

And then God asks Avraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Is anything too wondrous for God?” (18:14)

It’s easy to read that as a rebuke — but many of our commentators see it differently.

The Sfas Emes explains that Sarah’s laughter came from constriction and was transformed into holy joy — an invitation to expand her faith and allow blessing in.

The Torah reminds us that skepticism is welcome, but cynicism is not.

Skepticism asks, “Can this really be?” — and leaves room for wonder.

Cynicism says, “Of course not,” and shuts the door.

Sarah’s first laugh came from skepticism — from pain and self-protection — but God invited her to keep the door open just enough for hope to slip back in.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, of blessed memory, wrote that “Sarah’s laughter was not disbelief but surprise — the moment when humanity encounters Divinity. God doesn’t punish her for laughing. He transforms her laughter into Isaac — whose very name, Yitzchak, means ‘he will laugh.’”

From a mental-health lens, this moment is so human.

When we’ve experienced trauma, disappointment, or loss, the nervous system learns to expect pain.

Our protective parts step in to keep us safe — and sometimes, they hold so tightly in those extreme places that they don’t let the good in.

We stop dreaming, stop feeling, and tell ourselves we’re just being “realistic.”

But what if protecting ourselves from pain also keeps us from receiving blessing?

When Sarah laughs again — this time with joy — after Yitzchak is born, the Torah says:

“Tzchok asah li Elokim, kol hashome’a yitzchak li” — “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me.” (Bereishit 21:6)

Her laughter transforms from disbelief to delight — from defense to connection.

That’s healing.

It’s not pretending everything’s okay — it’s allowing light to re-enter the places that once felt numb.

And maybe that’s why we say in Bentching, “Az yimalei schok pinu u’leshoneinu rinah” — “Then our mouths will be filled with laughter and our tongues with song.” (Tehillim 126:2)

It reminds us that one day, when the bigger picture unfolds, we’ll all laugh again — not the laugh of disbelief, but the laughter of understanding, of seeing how every piece finally fits.

And who could ever have imagined that we would dance again with joy on Simchat Torah — carrying both our pain and our faith, still choosing life, still choosing joy?

Your ParshaRx Prescription:

When joy knocks on your door — open it, even if you are a little skeptical.

Let in the goodness that wants to reach you.

Because the same God who heard Sarah’s guarded laugh also gifted her with one filled with joy.

Shabbat Shalom.

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