Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, faith over despair, and resilience over defeatism. It commemorates the time when the Jewish people, led by the Maccabees, overcame a powerful enemy that sought to erase their religious identity. The miracle of the oil, which burned for eight days instead of one, reminds us that even the smallest amount of light has the power to illuminate the darkest of times.
The Chanukah candles hold a unique sanctity. According to Jewish law, we are not permitted to derive practical benefit from their light, such as using it to read or work. As stated in the "HaNeirot Halalu" prayer, their purpose is solely to serve as a reminder of the miracles and wonders that God performed for our ancestors. We gaze at them not for utility but for reflection, gratitude, and connection to something greater.
This year, as we light the Chanukah candles, the flames seem to carry an even deeper resonance. The events of October 7th and the challenges the Jewish people are facing today remind us once again of the ongoing struggle to preserve faith, identity, and safety. Just as the Maccabees faced threats over 2,000 years ago, the Jewish people are still grappling with profound challenges—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
But as history has shown, even in the face of great adversity, the Jewish spirit endures. The courage and resilience displayed by individuals and communities during these often gut-wrenching times echo the heroism of the Maccabees. Each act of unity, faith, and self-sacrifice is a modern-day miracle, a light that shines against the darkness of fear and loss.
Earlier this year, I became trained and certified in Brainspotting, a neuro-somatic-relational therapeutic modality that helps individuals process and heal from trauma, anxiety, or emotional challenges, as well as expand beyond what those challenges have held them back from. We use Brainspotting for performance enhancement, health issues, OCD, addictions, the list is continually growing and appears to be endless! In a nutshell, Brainspotting involves focusing on a specific point in the visual field—called a "brainspot"—that connects to deep-seated emotions and memories stored in the brain and body. By maintaining this focus, individuals can access and release emotions in a safe and transformative way, as well as gain insight and tap into new possibilities. During a Brainspotting session the therapist stays very attuned with the client's system so it can move to greater regulation. The therapist can also empower the client to do their own "Resource" or "Expansion" Brainspotting outside of sessions, to enhance their regulation or to get regulated when a they feel dysregulated (as we all feel at times). There are many ways to "set up the frame" and find the brainspot in during a Brainspotting session, such as "inside-window," "outside window," and "gazespotting" to name just a few.
Brainspotting has changed my life both personally and professionally. I have healed beyond what I ever thought possible (stay tuned for my book, My Year of Healing Courageously: A Therapist Shares Her Journey), and it has transformed my therapy and coaching practice to a whole new level.
Each night one lights the menorah, one is supposed to sit and gaze at the Chanukah lights for at least 30 minutes. So I decided to "gazespot" on my Chanukah candles. I looked at the candles and let my brain go wherever it naturally wanted to go.
Last night, as I gazed at the candles, my mind immediately went to thinking about how, for generations, Jews have been lighting menorahs. I could see in my mind's eye all kinds of Jewish families—religious, not observant; Jews in the shtetls of Europe; Jews in concentration camps hiding their menorahs, willing to risk their lives to fulfill this mitzvah; and our brothers and sisters in Israel, not knowing if they will be able to sit and gaze at their candles or if they will hear a siren and have to run for shelter from an incoming missile flying overhead from the north or the south.
Then I started to think about the future, when, long after I am gone, my great-great-grandchildren will proudly light their menorahs, continuing the link in the chain of our people.
As my mind always seems to do whenever I brainspot, my thoughts turned to the hostages—in the dark tunnels, where there is no light. Do they even know it is Chanukah? I found myself sending healing and the light of my candles their way, knowing that we are all connected and believing that, in some small way, they could feel it. My heart goes out to the families of the hostages and to the families of all the civilians, soldiers, and first responders we have lost since Black Saturday.
As I gaze at the Chanukah candles this year, I find myself drawn to their steady, unwavering light. The flames become more than a symbol; they are a connection to the past, a comfort in the present, and a hope for the future. In this sacred act of gazing, I am reminded that healing and resilience come from focusing on the light—both within and around us.
As the candles burn, they remind us that miracles are not just relics of the past. They are present in our lives today—in the strength to persevere, in the unity of a people, and in the courage to carry our faith forward.
This is the essence of Chanukah: that no matter the darkness, the light will always prevail.
Chaya Parkoff is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Life Coach in private practice. Chaya is is Certified in Brainspotting and trained in Internal Family Systems. Chaya is a sought after personal development motivational speaker, bridging Ancient Jewish Wisdom with modern psychology. Chaya and her husband Seth currently live in Denver, Colorado and are the proud parents of five children and one yummy grandson. Email Chaya at chayaparkofflcsw@gmail.com.
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